Well,
I love christmas
every decoration, lights, and christmas carol played all around shopping centres
bring peace wherever I heard it.
but I hate to expect
I always wanted to feel christmas as I've seen on tv or books
They decor the christmas tree together, go to church together, exchange christmas gift and having dinner with family.
it never happen in my family, maybe christmas never come to my home.
We never go to church together, my father is protestant and go to church by himself, brother always go to church with his friends. only me and mom left.
We never own a christmas tree, or decorate our house at christmas.
and every year christmas just passing by.
every year from my elementary, I wrote a letter to santa.
I watched my cousin did it when we were kids.
And she got gift as she wrote on her letter.
so, every year I wrote my own letter, filled with my wish. and hung a sock filled with my letter.
At some first years I always dissapointed the day after cause I can't find my christmas gift.
then I realized the one who left the gift at my cousin's door is her parents.
But I never stop write a letter.
My wish change from asking any toys, goods, until I only wish for me and my closest' happiness.
some letter are just not ask for anything but to greet santa this year.
And this year is the first time I'm not writing any letter, hung my socks, or wish for christmas atmosphere.
Sleep all day at my bed, or watch drama.
and today I relieved as christmas past
at least I didn't have to drown in any dissapointment to long.
I think I run out my faith in christmas miracles
~n0e~
I love christmas
every decoration, lights, and christmas carol played all around shopping centres
bring peace wherever I heard it.
but I hate to expect
I always wanted to feel christmas as I've seen on tv or books
They decor the christmas tree together, go to church together, exchange christmas gift and having dinner with family.
it never happen in my family, maybe christmas never come to my home.
We never go to church together, my father is protestant and go to church by himself, brother always go to church with his friends. only me and mom left.
We never own a christmas tree, or decorate our house at christmas.
and every year christmas just passing by.
every year from my elementary, I wrote a letter to santa.
I watched my cousin did it when we were kids.
And she got gift as she wrote on her letter.
so, every year I wrote my own letter, filled with my wish. and hung a sock filled with my letter.
At some first years I always dissapointed the day after cause I can't find my christmas gift.
then I realized the one who left the gift at my cousin's door is her parents.
But I never stop write a letter.
My wish change from asking any toys, goods, until I only wish for me and my closest' happiness.
some letter are just not ask for anything but to greet santa this year.
And this year is the first time I'm not writing any letter, hung my socks, or wish for christmas atmosphere.
Sleep all day at my bed, or watch drama.
and today I relieved as christmas past
at least I didn't have to drown in any dissapointment to long.
I think I run out my faith in christmas miracles
~n0e~